April 1, 2010

Necessary socialization? Really? REALLY?

One of the oft-repeated myths among the non-homeschooling world is the one that says children who are taught at home evolve into anti-social misfits with impaired ability to think, act, and fit in with a group.

I'm sure there are some like that. I just haven't met them.

The argument I most often hear for enrolling children in traditional institutional education is that they "need" the socialization and the time with their peers in order to become well-rounded individuals.

The logic of spending boatloads of time with lots of other kids your own age and then somehow using that as a springboard to individualism has always escaped me.

I've even read the argument that kids need to be in an institutional school setting so that they can learn how to behave, how to get along, how to cope.

If you know the story of beautiful Phoebe Prince you're likely to disagree. I know that for the umpteenth time I sure do.

Prince, 15, is the Massachusetts teenager who was found hanging in her closet Jan. 14, a victim of suicide that many say was brought about by incessant bullying and torment at her local middle school.

Her family had immigrated from a small village in Ireland last fall so that their daughter could experience all that America had to offer.

How ironic.

According to Boston newspapers, Prince was not only physically attractive she was smart and friendly -- everything her school's so-called Mean Girls found threatening.

The group of girls who, by the way, are still in school as of this writing, set out to make Prince's life a living hell, hurling slurs at her, throwing objects, following her home from school, sending her cruel text messages, etc.

She briefly dated a senior football star, so maybe that was the problem, school officials speculate.

It gets worse. According to newspaper reports, school officials acknowledged that they knew there was a problem. They don't offer up exactly what they actively did to put a stop to it. What's more, they went on and held a school dance two days after Prince died. Didn't want to hamper all that potential socialization, I guess.

Bullying has always been a part of public school life. I saw it and I was even briefly the victim of it once. The difference is that when I was in school back in the 1970s and early '80s, principals and teachers still had enough authority and autonomy to make bullies' lives incredibly miserable long term. No one worried about political correctness -- the noisome term hadn't even been invented.

If it's not the socially challenged kid who's being picked on, it's the handicapped kid, the poor kid, the shabbily dressed kid, the cerebral kid, the short kid, or the fat kid. Sometimes it's the beautiful kid, maybe it's your kid, and I have to ask again why anyone thinks ANY kid ought to have to put up with this crap in order to become more well-rounded and, dare I even say it, educated?

Children learn best in small groups and quiet environments. They learn best when the rabble rousers among them are summarily plucked out and sent away. They learn best when their teachers don't have to struggle to distraction to discipline the students whose families should've disciplined them long before.

Anytime you corral hundreds of kids into a building and expect that all their differences and weaknesses and strengths are just going to meld together in one big kumbaya experience, you're asking for trouble.

I can't imagine the horror Phoebe Prince's family is living through right now. I also can't imagine why it's now April and her tormentors still have not been punished.

On Jan. 24, Boston Globe columnist Kevin Cullen wrote the poignant final chapter to Phoebe's story:

"Last week, Phoebe was supposed to visit Ireland, where she grew up, and she was excited because she was going to see her father for the first time in months.

She did end up going back to Ireland after all, and when her father saw her she was in a casket.

Phoebe’s family decided to bury her in County Clare. They wanted an ocean between her and the people who hounded her to the grave."

1 comment:

Melissa said...

The last line of your article is just heartbreaking. Such a sad and horrible story.