April 5, 2010

The prom attended by less than 10

Itawamba County, Mississippi is not exactly a tourist destination for folks traveling through the south and its county seat, the tiny town of Fulton (pop. roughly 4,000), is even more obscure.

At least it was until it ignited a firestorm.

High school senior Constance McMillen, 18, fired the initial salvo when she announced she'd be bringing another girl as her date to the prom. McMillen says she's a lesbian and planned to wear a tuxedo.

Itawamba Agricultural High School officials said no.

When McMillen pressed the issue and then got the ACLU involved, a local court ordered the school district to allow the girl to attend the dance with her female companion.

School officials said no and cancelled the prom.

Parents of the other students stepped up and said they'd organize a prom instead. McMillen assumed that she'd be invited to that event.

Apparently, those folks said no, too. Only this time they did it under their breaths and in the cruelest way imaginable.

Reportedly, two proms were planned -- one publicly announced and the other privately held. McMillen and her date showed up to the one they knew about, the publicly announced event that was chaperoned by school officials at a local country club. Only seven other students were there, she says, including two special education students.

Where was the rest of her class? They all attended the private affair, the one presumably free of lesbians and other undesirables.

Anyone who's read my 'blog for any length of time knows that I don't embrace the homosexual lifestyle nor do I think that homosexuals should have a protected class status. What you do in your own space is your choice, after all, and I shouldn't have to tiptoe around laws designed to force me to know about your behavior or to accept it as equal to any other.

That said, I am also absolutely opposed to the mistreatment of kids of any age and of any leaning.

The Itawamba school district was wrong to cancel its prom rather than let McMillen and her female friend attend. It was wrong to ruin her last year of high school over a couple of hours worth of bad food and likely cheesy dance music. (Hey, I've been to a senior prom and the food WAS bad and the dancing WAS awful.)

The district was also wrong because McMillen's parents PAY THEIR TAXES JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE and their daughter had every right to participate in any school-sponsored event.

And I can't even begin to imagine the hurt the parents of those two special-education students must be feeling knowing that their children who are already struggling with learning disabilities were also purposely left out of the "real" prom. Like their senior year wasn't worth commemorating properly, either.

The kids at McMillen's high school didn't cook up this dual-prom idea all by themselves, I'm fairly certain.

No, once again adults who ought to know better and who ought to know by now how fragile the egos and hearts of teenagers can be were behind this. Way too much planning and coordination had to take place to pull off a secret prom in a small town and, frankly, I'm doubtful most of those teenagers could have done it without adult supervision.

What does this whole thing teach those children? I know what it hasn't taught them. It hasn't taught them that it's okay to disagree with someone's choice and yet be civilized and humane to the person.

And that, to me, is THE lesson we're supposed to be pounding into the minds of our children.

After all, if we cannot civilly live side by side with people with whom we do not necessarily agree or understand, there is absolutely no hope for our society.

No hope at all.

1 comment:

Melissa said...

Well said as usual Marjorie.