Teach Your Children NOT to bully

Children with varying degrees of autism -- known as being on the "autistic spectrum" -- are being diagnosed in record numbers. Unfortunately, most of them either attend public school or will someday. Professional educators who actually know what to do with these children are far and few between, from what I've been reading, and this means too many of these kids are falling through the cracks. Special ed. or mainstream? A little autism or a lot? Is it autism at all or just quirky and eccentric behaviors?

Regardless, even with the most accurate diagnosis and the best interventions these children often face a rough road as they struggle with, among other things, learning to read the social cues given by other people. It's called mind blindness, the inability to read faces or body language, and to tell the difference between sarcasm and sincerity. It can also manifest as an inability to control one's own behaviors, tone of voice, and facial expressions.

Failing to do any or all of these things puts children on The Spectrum at an even greater risk of being taken advantage of than their unaffected peers.

Many children with mild autism are extremely bright, some with IQ's far above average. They are not mentally retarded nor are they purposely weird.

Our society goes to such excruciating lengths to teach its children tolerance for those who are of different races, different sexual preferences, and different religions, how about hammering home the message that children with autism are to be tolerated, too.

What does this mean? First, it means explaining to unaffected kids what autism is and that it doesn't manifest the same way in any two people.

Then it means teaching unaffected kids why they ought to not be afraid of their affected peers.

Take that one step further and explain that bullying autistic children is as bad as teasing someone about the color of their skin or the fact that they wear a hijab or have two mommies.

Make the penalties for harassing autistic children -- or any children with disabilities -- as strong as the ones for offending kids who are gay or black or Jewish.

Autism is not something children or their parents ever wish for, it is not a reason for celebration, it is not easy to live with or to accommodate.

But for the families of these amazingly brilliant, beautiful, quirky thinkers the failure of other parents to teach their children well is perhaps the most hurtful of all.

Be grateful if your child does not have autism. Teach your child to be a blessing to one who does.

Many children with autism want to have friends, they just don't quite know how to make them.