Not "real" Christians?

I was going to take a nap this afternoon following a long morning of homeschooling my children in everything from geometry to the history of Islam. My mind was tired but I logged in to check emails, expecting a message about a church function I'm supposed to attend.

While online, I clicked on a news site to see the day's headlines.

Somewhere between the incessantly whiny politicians and another terrorist attack not perpetuated by Buddhists, Amish, or Pentecostals, a headline out of North Carolina caught my eye:

"No Scout leadership post in NC for Mormon parents"


I knew before I even clicked in to read the story what I was going to find, but being especially curious about religious persecution in this country -- because, to my dismay, it is still much alive and unbelievably rampant -- I wanted the details.

Here they are:

A Presbyterian church in North Carolina welcomed a family and their two young sons into its chartered Boy Scout program and even accepted the parents' offer to become troop leaders. The father is an Eagle Scout himself. Then church officials reviewed Jeremy and Jodi Stokes' applications and discovered much to their horror that the Stokeses belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Yes, they are Mormons.

The Stokeses were told their boys ages 6 and 8 could stay in the program but that Jeremy and Jodi would not be allowed to lead because, in the words of church officials, they were not "real Christians." The Presbyterian church in question is aligned with the evangelical Christian movement, an arm of the Christian church that spends far too much time trying to pluck motes out of other believers' eyes instead of first pulling the planks out of its own.

The Stokeses found out about the Boy Scout program at Christ Covenant Church from families in their homeschool association. Now they wonder whether those same families will want to be around them, what with not being Real Christians and all.

Bubonic plague? Sure, no problem. Influenza virus? Yep, we can handle you. Non-mainstream Christianity? Hell no! Everybody run! Run for your lives! These people aren't Real Christians and they may be dangerous!

"We had bought the uniforms, we had gone to two meetings, they had played with the other kids," Jodi Stokes said. "And then my sons are saying, 'Mommy, why can't we go back there?'"

Well, Johnny and Jimmy, it's because we aren't Real Christians, we're Fake Christians, and those nice folks are afraid we're going to turn them into Fake Christians, too. They don't want to catch our beliefs from us. You understand, right?"

As a Christian myself -- and a member of a non-mainstream Protestant Christian denomination considered by some to be a cult, by others to be downright false -- I'm always amused (okay, really annoyed) by Protestant Christians who freak out in the presence of Catholics, Mormons, Mennonites, Christian Scientists, Seventh Day Adventists or any other Christian denomination that doesn't fit the tight, rigid conditions of Christianity as set forth by modern believers post-Reformation.

Let's start with Catholics, because everyone knows how much fun it is to pick on them.

Real Christians say Catholics are Fake Christians because they interpret passages of Scripture differently and because they acknowledge the human authority of a pope. They have various ceremonies and rituals and some extra books in their Bible that Protestants don't have. The fact that God and Jesus and the Bible in whatever its form are the centerpiece of the Catholic faith just doesn't matter. Hospitals, soup kitchens, schools for the poor? Nope. Off with their heads!

Now for the Mormons:

Real Christians say Mormons are Fake Christians because they, too, interpret some passages of Scripture differently and because they acknowledge Joseph Smith as a prophet. They have various ceremonies and rituals and the Book of Mormon in addition to the Protestant version of the Bible. The fact that God and Jesus and the Bible form the centerpiece of the Mormon faith just doesn't matter. Strong support for scouting programs, patriotism, and families? Off with their heads!

On to the Christian Scientists (of which I am one):

Real Christians say Christian Scientists are Fake Christians because they, too, interpret some passages of Scripture differently and because they acknowledge that the founder of their church, Mary Baker Eddy, had a revelation as to how people could be healed using nothing but the ideas found in the Bible, in particular the teachings and works of Jesus. (I know, it's shocking to think anyone would actually take Jesus seriously when he said, "These works that I do ye shall do also.") Christian Scientists have no ceremonies or rituals other than weekly church services open to the public, no ordained ministers (lay members of the church read the services), but they do have a book that explains their denominational teachings and they read that book alongside their Bible. The fact that God and Jesus and the Bible are the sole foundation of the Christian Science faith just doesn't matter. Audacity to say that prayer can heal? Off with their (our? my?) heads!

The North Carolina Presbyterians remind me of the mother of the first boyfriend I ever had. His father was an ordained Baptist minister and when his mother found out I was a Christian Scientist (3rd generation, no less), she began to worry. The boy was 20 and I was all of 17 and still in high school. The mother fretted that we were going to run off and get married and that her son would be lawfully wedded to a Fake Christian and might even end up with half-breed children.

This was my introduction to modern-day religious bigotry and I was caught unprepared. Naively, I assumed that if I lived my life according to Christian teaching -- the whole Ten Commandments/Sermon on the Mount/Golden Rule/Jesus as my only ticket to salvation and eternal life thing -- then I was doing all I needed to do to be acceptable not only in the eyes of God but fellow Christians as well.

Instead, I began to understand that it's not what we do or how we live that matters to many fellow Christians. It's all about the brand name we slap on ourselves. Some Christian denominations are more fashionable than others. Some are the Coco Chanels of the Christian world and some are the no-name brands you buy at Walmart.

It bothered me a lot way back then. Now, I couldn't care less. As I got older and had opportunities to prove my faith not only for myself but in the care and company of others, I stopped worrying about what I was. I only hope the little Stokes boys will someday be able to do the same.

Meanwhile, the hard lesson to learn is this:

Like my old boyfriend's family, the folks at the North Carolina church have been given the special secret code that allows them to tap into Real Christianity, leaving the rest of us sinners, heretics, apostates, and downright blasphemers to grovel in the dust, begging for the smallest crumb of forgiveness.

We will never be accepted or acceptable in the eyes of certain fellow Christians and we will never be welcomed in their circles or at their tables. We will never be trusted and we will never be understood because they don't want to learn enough about us to do either.

Jesus sat and ate with tax collectors and whores and touched leprous and insane people, but some of our fellow Christians will never want to know us.

Sometimes I think the biggest threats to the survival of the Christian faith are not Islam or secular humanism as many people claim but, rather, Christians themselves.

We have met the enemy, and he is us.

And by the way, I entrusted a Mormon woman with my life and the lives of my last three children. She was my midwife and she prayed with me and talked me through three planned, drug-free home births. She was the first to hold my second daughter and my two sons, and she was the one who saved my youngest son when he was not breathing after delivery. She has always kept up with and cared for our family and we love her as one of our own. I've read a lot about the Mormon church over the years, and I understand that some of their practices and beliefs sound unusual or even absurd. But Mormonism, as I have seen it lived in my experience, exhibits the finest qualities of the Christian spirit. If one of those North Carolina Presbyterians was drowning, and the only person around to save them was a Mormon, betcha the whole Real vs. Fake Christian thing would take a whole different turn.