The next person to champion the value of socialization as it's offered in public school ought to be given copies of two news stories reporting on the bullying deaths of children just days apart.
Right here in my own community, Asher Brown, 13, was found dead of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head after kids at his school taunted him mercilessly. His parents say he was bullied to death. He was accused of being gay and was taunted for being Buddhist. His parents claim that they repeatedly reported his predicament to school officials, but nothing changed. Other families have come forward alleging the same. Others have said their kids were bullied, too. One family moved its child to another school where things are better.
Asher took his life Sept. 23.
A few days earlier on September 19, another boy of 13 -- also the victim of bullying at school -- committed suicide by hanging himself in his family's backyard. Seth Walsh of Tehachapi, CA was also accused of being gay though news reports do not confirm his sexual orientation.
Two boys, both so young and with so much potential, decided it was better to DIE than to put up with the hell that accompanied their school experiences.
It was better to die than to go back to school.
In my community, the collective finger of blame has been pointed squarely at the school district for not doing enough to stop the bullying and subsequent suicide of Asher Brown.
I'm not sure this is fair.
While it's true that schools assume a "once your child comes through our doors, he's ours" mentality and should be held accountable for student safety, it's also true that schools and teachers can only do so much extra when confronted with the near-impossible primary task of actually teaching anything to hundreds of kids every day.
Our society warehouses hundreds of kids under one roof for hours on end, day after day, and naively expects public school administrators and teachers to be parents, protectors, educators, and social workers. I don't think this is realistic or appropriate.
Instead of blaming the school district or the schools themselves, I blame the parents -- all of them. Who's parenting the kids who are bullying other people's children? Why didn't they teach them compassion? Right from wrong? The age-old moral imperative to help, not destroy, one another? What about the parents of the kids who stood by and witnessed the torment of Asher and Seth but said nothing? What were those kids taught? That as long as you're not the one being targeted, it shouldn't concern you? That it's better to sacrifice someone else than risk becoming a target yourself? And why do parents who know their children are being repeatedly bullied repeatedly insist on returning those kids to school? Why would you knowingly throw your child back into the mouth of the lion? Transfer them! Homeschool them or find someone else who can! Work the graveyard shift at Walmart and apply for scholarships to put them in private school!
A bad public school does not have to be the only option. It doesn't matter that it's free if it's toxic!
My heart breaks for the mothers of Asher Brown and Seth Walsh. They have lost their sons in the prime of their lives and there is no fix for such grief.
I'm still waiting for the revolution, the one in which parents everywhere take back their kids from the state and its many nanny institutions.
Something tells me I'm going to be waiting a long time.
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