Why don't they just use duct tape?

The federal government has a new way to parent your children for you. Problem is, it's going to cost $500 million dollars.

According to Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, the Race to the Top Early Learning Challenge will target children from birth to age 5 in an effort to make sure they're ready for school.

Sounds fine, if you're the sort that likes the government interfering in your business, right?

Wait until you hear what the feds are worried about.

CNSNews.com reports:
 
Sebelius, adding on to comments from Asst. Education Secretary Joan Lombardi, pointed to studies done in her home state of Kansas, where she served as governor. “When we looked at 5-year olds--and we tested about half the 5-year-olds in a relatively homogeneous state like Kansas -- and found that about half of them were not ready for kindergarten at age 5," Sebelius said.
"And some of those skills were missing: readiness for their math or reading," she said. "A number of children were missing the social and developmental skills which would allow them to sit in a classroom or play with others or listen to a teacher for any period of time. So I think it was an indicator that you couldn’t just test curriculum readiness.”

And this gem, also from Ms. Sebelius:

“You really need to look at the range of issues, because if a 5-year-old can’t sit still, it is unlikely that they can do well in a kindergarten class . . ."
Let me see if I've got this right. FIVE-YEAR-OLD children were "tested" for math and reading readiness. They were found lacking in social and developmental skills which would allow them to sit in a classroom and listen to a teacher for any period of time.

This is rocket science??????

They're FIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a problem that usually time, maturity, and patient training will solve unless some wingnut convinces a parent to drug their little energetic child into a trance, but I digress.

Have we all lost our minds? Have we forgotten what it means to be a little kid? When did normal, youthful exuberance become a disease to be cured? When did kindergarten become so regimented?

Duct tape will keep a child in his or her seat, and for a whole lot less than $500 million. Maybe we should rethink its use in schools after all.