For some time now, I've been meaning to compile a list of good things that have happened to either me or to someone in my family -- things that just seemed to fall out of the sky, happenstance or, as I believe, God-derived.
A good friend of mine lost her 21-year-old son to a tragic mix of drugs and alcohol last month. As I started on my 90-minute trip down to the funeral, I stopped by my local Starbucks to get an iced tea and a snack. I'd had no breakfast and didn't want to be late for the service, so I went through the drive-through.
As I pulled up to pay for and receive my order, the cashier told me, "Put your money away. The man in front of you has already paid your bill."
I started crying.
"You don't understand," I said, as the young man looked on bewildered, obviously wondering what in the world would prompt such an outpouring of emotion. "I'm on my way to the funeral of a dear friend's son and I've been so sad about this. I really needed something good to happen today."
Then he asked me if I wanted to continue the chain of giving by paying for the order of the person behind me. I gladly agreed and hoped as I drove away that in some small way I'd blessed them.
Recently, I needed someone else to transport my children to various activities because I was unable to drive them myself. A good friend who leads my daughter's scout troop willingly agreed to take my girls to scouts. Another friend picked my son up for his gymnastics class and yet another friend kindly brought him home.
My oldest daughter has been working on her Junior Girl Scout Bronze Award, the highest award a girl can earn at the junior level. Her troop decided to make and collect tote bags to take down to the Shriner's Children's Hospital in Galveston. This facility treats free of charge children from all over the world who have been burned.
I put out the word to a few friends that we needed tote bags. I figured we might collect 50 or maybe even 100 with any luck at all.
My daughter collected about 400 bags.
They came from friends of a long-distance cousin, the company my husband works for, the company a good family friend works for, several homeschool moms I've known for some years, my in-laws. Tote bags seemed to rain down from heaven and my daughter was absolutely thrilled.
Awhile back I wrote about a family we are trying to help. My children's piano teacher overheard me on the phone one day and after she was finished teaching she told me she, too, wanted to help this family. She's planning to bring me a gift card to give to them for Easter.
I'm sure I'm leaving out a million other small ways in which God has shown Himself to us these past several months and I'm thinking now I should keep a running list on my kitchen wall so everyone -- particularly my children -- can see how He works in our lives every single day.
It's humbling beyond measure, and I think it comes only as we are willing to give up ourselves and be led by something far greater than any of us. It's so much easier to follow than it is to try to lead and like so many other weary and tired sheep, I am grateful for the Shepherd who always seems to know what is needed when it is needed.
Divine Love (God) always has met and always will meet every human need.
Wordly discourse on everything from the sad state of public education, politics and world peace to vegetarianism, breast vs. bottle, religious persecution, bad media, and all manner of life's vagaries.
April 15, 2011
April 13, 2011
Humiliation of children in the name of education
It's not often I get a "two-fer" when I log in to read the latest headlines, but today was one of those red letter days.
Two stories about the abuse of children by their respective schools or educators jumped out at me as I scanned the pages.
First, we have the Tennessee kindergarten teacher (since suspended for one day with a letter of reprimand for her file) who encouraged her students to gather around a crying classmate to call him a pig and make oinking noises at him because he did not keep his area neat.
I can guarantee that this teacher has just damaged that child's love of learning for years to come. Little kids don't soon forget public humiliation. I have a friend who's 47 and she still remembers a humiliating experience in which a fourth grade teacher called her up to the front of the class and asked her if she was "spoiled at home."
I have another friend whose son, now nearly 21, was humiliated on purpose by a teacher way back in 2nd grade and to this day he does not care to read for pleasure. He made the mistake of reading too many books for a reading program and the teacher thought he was showing off. Nevermind that he was and is an outstanding and gifted student. She made him sit in an empty classroom with a teacher's aide while the rest of his class enjoyed a pizza party across the hall.
It's easy to humiliate little kids. They're small, virtually defenseless, and the odds are that if you do it they either won't tell or else they'll tell but no one will believe them.
Guess all the anti-bullying efforts touted nationwide don't apply to grownups.
The Tennessee teacher tasked with caring for and educating the most vulnerable members of the school population abdicated her responsibility. A one-day suspension is laughable. A lawsuit and permanent removal from the classroom would be much more appropriate.
Next!
Our next story comes from Illinois where an elementary special education teacher ordered all of her students to remove their underwear so she could determine who among them soiled their pants.
Special education students are such an easy target for intimidation, folks. Some of them can't speak, others can't hear, the rest are often physically incapacitated in some fashion so as to be unable to defend themselves. They often require extra physical care depending upon their disability, but, hey, the schools provide special education and receive additional state and federal monies for it. They know what comes with the job.
According to the news article, the teacher saw feces smeared on the floor so she had each of her seven students go into a bathroom and remove his or her underwear. The third and fourth graders were then required to present their underwear to the teacher for inspection.
No word on which, if any, of the students was the guilty culprit.
In this case, the school did the right thing and fired the teacher -- the real guilty culprit.
Two stories about the abuse of children by their respective schools or educators jumped out at me as I scanned the pages.
First, we have the Tennessee kindergarten teacher (since suspended for one day with a letter of reprimand for her file) who encouraged her students to gather around a crying classmate to call him a pig and make oinking noises at him because he did not keep his area neat.
I can guarantee that this teacher has just damaged that child's love of learning for years to come. Little kids don't soon forget public humiliation. I have a friend who's 47 and she still remembers a humiliating experience in which a fourth grade teacher called her up to the front of the class and asked her if she was "spoiled at home."
I have another friend whose son, now nearly 21, was humiliated on purpose by a teacher way back in 2nd grade and to this day he does not care to read for pleasure. He made the mistake of reading too many books for a reading program and the teacher thought he was showing off. Nevermind that he was and is an outstanding and gifted student. She made him sit in an empty classroom with a teacher's aide while the rest of his class enjoyed a pizza party across the hall.
It's easy to humiliate little kids. They're small, virtually defenseless, and the odds are that if you do it they either won't tell or else they'll tell but no one will believe them.
Guess all the anti-bullying efforts touted nationwide don't apply to grownups.
The Tennessee teacher tasked with caring for and educating the most vulnerable members of the school population abdicated her responsibility. A one-day suspension is laughable. A lawsuit and permanent removal from the classroom would be much more appropriate.
Next!
Our next story comes from Illinois where an elementary special education teacher ordered all of her students to remove their underwear so she could determine who among them soiled their pants.
Special education students are such an easy target for intimidation, folks. Some of them can't speak, others can't hear, the rest are often physically incapacitated in some fashion so as to be unable to defend themselves. They often require extra physical care depending upon their disability, but, hey, the schools provide special education and receive additional state and federal monies for it. They know what comes with the job.
According to the news article, the teacher saw feces smeared on the floor so she had each of her seven students go into a bathroom and remove his or her underwear. The third and fourth graders were then required to present their underwear to the teacher for inspection.
No word on which, if any, of the students was the guilty culprit.
In this case, the school did the right thing and fired the teacher -- the real guilty culprit.
April 11, 2011
They already have their minds and hearts, now they want their food
The Chicago Tribune reports on a school in one of that city's districts where the principal has banned lunches from home unless a student has a medical exemption or a food allergy.
That's right. Kids are forced to eat whatever the school cafeteria doles out, whether they like it or not.
The goal is to save children from their parents' poor choices or, in some cases, from themselves.
Now, as a mom of four I'm all for saving kids from themselves. Given the choice between a wholegrain muffin and a sugary doughnut, I guarantee my children would make a run for the doughnut.
I would, too.
But this story is really about the school (the state, the government) stepping in to once again relieve parents of their parental responsibilities.
The plan, according to the news story, is backfiring.
Quote: "At Little Village, most students must take the meals served in the cafeteria or go hungry or both. During a recent visit to the school, dozens of students took the lunch but threw most of it in the garbage uneaten. Though CPS has improved the nutritional quality of its meals this year, it also has seen a drop-off in meal participation among students, many of whom say the food tastes bad."
At $2.25 a meal, if the child isn't receiving free breakfast and lunch, parents' hard-earned money is being thrown away. And those free breakfasts and lunches that are hitting the garbage? Yeah, that's taxpayer money being thrown away.
Never mind that the food is apparently so awful that little kids would rather go hungry during the school day than eat. Lots of learning takes place when the mind and body are hungry, right?
Please don't misunderstand me. I am NOT saying that children perform optimally when they're hyped up on soft drinks and chips. I am NOT saying public schools -- which are already doing the bulk of parenting since they have custody of students for 8 hours a day -- shouldn't encourage healthful eating.
What I am saying is that if public schools can now dictate the kinds of food parents send to school or the kinds of food students must eat, what's next? They already dictate what students wear (and given much of the obnoxious fashion that's sold to children I'm actually okay with that), they dictate what students will learn, they dictate healthcare for kids in the form of mandated vaccinations, and they dictate to an appalling degree what sort of worldview children will develop before they leave school.
Really, if food is the final frontier what's left for parents to do?
The government schools are now doing it all!
It's no coincidence that the National Education Association is in bed snug and tight with those whose political leanings would have the government do everything for us from cradle to grave.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. The best protector of children is rarely the government and then only in certain, select situations. Our cultures laments the inability of parents to parent even as it takes away virtually every opportunity for them to do so!
As long as parents let the government do our job for us, we should expect the government to make choices for our children that we don't like. We cannot have it both ways. Either raise our own and make educated decisions about their academics, health, and moral training, or else shut up and let the state do what it will.
Did I mention that, ultimately, we cannot have it both ways?
That's right. Kids are forced to eat whatever the school cafeteria doles out, whether they like it or not.
The goal is to save children from their parents' poor choices or, in some cases, from themselves.
Now, as a mom of four I'm all for saving kids from themselves. Given the choice between a wholegrain muffin and a sugary doughnut, I guarantee my children would make a run for the doughnut.
I would, too.
But this story is really about the school (the state, the government) stepping in to once again relieve parents of their parental responsibilities.
The plan, according to the news story, is backfiring.
Quote: "At Little Village, most students must take the meals served in the cafeteria or go hungry or both. During a recent visit to the school, dozens of students took the lunch but threw most of it in the garbage uneaten. Though CPS has improved the nutritional quality of its meals this year, it also has seen a drop-off in meal participation among students, many of whom say the food tastes bad."
At $2.25 a meal, if the child isn't receiving free breakfast and lunch, parents' hard-earned money is being thrown away. And those free breakfasts and lunches that are hitting the garbage? Yeah, that's taxpayer money being thrown away.
Never mind that the food is apparently so awful that little kids would rather go hungry during the school day than eat. Lots of learning takes place when the mind and body are hungry, right?
Please don't misunderstand me. I am NOT saying that children perform optimally when they're hyped up on soft drinks and chips. I am NOT saying public schools -- which are already doing the bulk of parenting since they have custody of students for 8 hours a day -- shouldn't encourage healthful eating.
What I am saying is that if public schools can now dictate the kinds of food parents send to school or the kinds of food students must eat, what's next? They already dictate what students wear (and given much of the obnoxious fashion that's sold to children I'm actually okay with that), they dictate what students will learn, they dictate healthcare for kids in the form of mandated vaccinations, and they dictate to an appalling degree what sort of worldview children will develop before they leave school.
Really, if food is the final frontier what's left for parents to do?
The government schools are now doing it all!
It's no coincidence that the National Education Association is in bed snug and tight with those whose political leanings would have the government do everything for us from cradle to grave.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. The best protector of children is rarely the government and then only in certain, select situations. Our cultures laments the inability of parents to parent even as it takes away virtually every opportunity for them to do so!
As long as parents let the government do our job for us, we should expect the government to make choices for our children that we don't like. We cannot have it both ways. Either raise our own and make educated decisions about their academics, health, and moral training, or else shut up and let the state do what it will.
Did I mention that, ultimately, we cannot have it both ways?
March 30, 2011
"Turn the car around!"
A few months back, I wrote with great sadness about the death of a woman named Albina Callaway. My sorrow lay partly in the fact that her passing was so sudden and that she left behind a young daughter and partly in the fact that it took me three months to get the news.
Albina was my friend. We knew each other from my mid-day trips to Denney's with my children and mother. She waitressed there and was always such a joy to be around. Read the previous 'blog for the details.
Anyway, my sadness pushed me into something that has become much bigger than just me. I know now that it was really always bigger than just me, but in the beginning I felt like a one-woman crusader.
This is a true story about what happens when we give up ourselves. It's also a story about what can happen when we ask God to give us a job without clearly knowing what reward, if any, will be obtained. It is Emmanuel or "God with us" in the most tangible way. It is a solid refutation of the world's tendency to disbelieve in the existence or power of God.
Before I tell you the story, I have to share the lyrics of a song by one of my favorite Christian singers, Chris Sligh. The song is, "Only You Can Save" and it played through my head over and over in the weeks leading up to what I'm about to relate.
I saw a man today, his whole world across his back
A living monument opposed to my success
I tried to look into his eyes as his shuffled past my car
Sweat beading on his skin, his clothes and hair a mess
As the light turned green and I pulled away, he slowly disappeared
Just a memory of another chance I failed to show your love here
I wanna love because You love
I wanna give because You gave
I wanna reach my hand out to the lost
because I know Your hand can save
Only You can save
Only You can save
Sometimes I have to wonder if I really want to know
The struggle and the pain that others feel
Do I want to hear the stories I see echoed in their eyes
Or is this love I say that I'm reflecting even real
As the light turns on inside my head and I slowly disappear
I steel myself cuz what you call for me is to show your love here…
I wanna love because You love
I wanna give because You gave
I wanna reach my hand out to the lost
because I know Your hand can save
Only You can save
Only You can save
(Save) Let me be Your hands
(Only You can save) Let me be your eyes
(Only you can save) Help me understand
(Only you can save)
That I'm Your hands and feet hidden behind this frail human disguise
I wanna love because You love
I wanna give because You gave
I wanna reach my hand out to the lost
because I know Your hand will save.
In the song, Sligh prays for God to use him in some meaningful way so that he can actually demonstrate the love and purpose of Christ rather than just talk about it.
On Christmas Eve 2010, I did the same thing and the avalanche of blessing that has poured from that one short prayer threatens to overwhelm me.
I found out about Albina's death the Tuesday before Christmas. At that point, I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to do something, something for her or for her family. I didn't know what that "something" would be, but like a pesty fly at a picnic the thought just wouldn't leave me.
That same day, Tuesday, I wrote a letter to her husband expressing my sympathy and regret at only then having learned the news of her death three months before. I went online and found what I hoped was still a good address for him, drove to his house, and after finding him not home left the letter with a neighbor who promised to deliver it for me. I included my phone number and email, in case Albina's husband wanted to talk. My work was done, right?
Friday, the day before Christmas, found me sitting at my kitchen table with my children making last minute crafts to give as gifts. As they finished up, the overwhelming compulsion to pray came over me and, once the kids were gone, I sat there alone and silent, wondering what on earth I should pray. I didn't need anything, so what WAS this about? Why was I being provoked into prayer?
That's when the still small voice of the Old Testament spoke and all I heard was, "Ask to be connected."
Connected? Who was I disconnected from? It was Christmas Eve, I'd sent all my cards to family and friends, my children were happily getting ready for the next day, my husband, mother and in-laws were all up and running. Where was the disconnect?????
Then I realized that the other nagging feeling, the one that made me wonder and worry a little about Albina's family WAS the disconnect. I needed to make contact with her husband! I needed to know for myself that he and his little girl were okay!
This was my prayer: "Dear Father, let me make contact with James so I can know he and his daughter are okay. If I can help them, help me to do this. This is all I ask of you and I pray to see the way clear to make this happen. Amen."
That was it. I didn't know it then, but I had just opened wide a door that has yet to be shut, and the blessings that have flooded through it read like the wish list of a child at Christmas. I believe this is no accident. God sent his son to us on Christmas Eve as the greatest gift mankind would ever have, and it was on Christmas Eve that I prayed to receive the gift of usefulness.
Later that day, on our way home from a friend's open house, I stopped by the grocery store to buy ingredients for a Christmas Day green bean casserole. As I headed back to the house, I was disgusted with myself when I realized I'd bought absolutely everything else for the casserole I needed except the green beans! I dropped off my mother and my girls and told them I'd run up to Walmart to get the beans and that I'd be back soon. We were scheduled to go with friends that night to a Christmas Eve service at their church, so I needed to get back to get ready.
As I headed out of my neighborhood, a voice that was nearly audible in the car said to me, "Turn the car around." I tried to brush it off, not really thinking it could be anything but a niggling, lingering worry about a situation I'd already addressed. I needed to get those green beans!
"Turn the car around!" It came again, and this time I found myself turning the corner and driving away from the store and towards Albina's house. This is nuts, I thought. I've got this to do and that to do and on and on and on -- and all the while my car was headed in a different direction.
As I neared Albina's house, I saw there was a car in the driveway. Her husband must be home, I thought, and what in the world am I going to say? Did he get my letter? Did I offend him? Is he going to blow me off the minute I introduce myself? All these questions and more ran through my head as I shut off the engine, got out, and headed up to the front door.
And then what happened? Her husband answered the door, and when I told him who I was he said, "I was just working on an email to send to you. I got your letter and I just now had time to reply."
We stood on his front porch and talked, and talked, and talked. The sun went down, it began to drizzle, and I began to wonder how I was going to explain all this to my family. Surely by now they were missing me, and thinking the line at Walmart couldn't possibly be that long.
At one point in the conversation, I asked Albina's husband if there was anything I could do for him and he said that although he hated to ask for help what he really needed was some dog food for his two dogs. I asked him what sort of food he had for himself and his little girl and he said quietly, "Not much." Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was now nearly 7 p.m. and I'd been gone a good two hours. I needed to get home. Tonight was Christmas Eve and there were toys to assemble, foods to prepare, and our friends would be meeting us at their church in just a couple of hours.
I offered to run up to a nearby grocery store to get some food and the husband accepted. On the way to the store, I called my husband and told him where I was and what was happening. "Call Rene and Dennis and let them know we won't make it," I said. "There's no way I can get home in time now."
I shopped for groceries like the mother of four children that I am -- peanut butter, wheat bread, bag of apples, bananas, milk, orange juice. I worried that the little girl might not have enough nutritious food to stay healthy and, knowing the family had no health insurance, it seemed paramount to make sure the food I bought was quality stuff.
As I checked out, I glanced at my watch. It was still early enough that if I got the groceries delivered in time I could still make it home to get ready to meet our friends for church and a gift exchange afterwards. I'd call my husband from the car and he could let our friends know we'd be there after all. What could be better? The evening in a nice, tidy package, right? A little good deed and then on to the fun, right? Right?
Then I heard thunder, and I saw the rain, lots and lots of torrential rain. How in the world was I going to load and unload all these groceries without getting absolutely soaked, I asked myself.
As I stood outside the store watching the downpour, it became clear that I was expected to finish the job God had given me. Running to my car, I began loading in the bags as fast as I could while all the while the cold rain seeped through my shawl and into my clothes down to the skin. "You have a chance to help someone else who's hurting far more than you're suffering a temporary soaking," the voice said to me. "Get over it. Your clothes will wash and you will dry out."
I got back to Albina's house and her little girl helped me bring the bags into the house. It was my first real look at the child and she was beautiful. We got everything put away and her dad asked if I'd like to sit for a bit and talk. It was Christmas Eve after all, and it was obvious he was struggling. I glanced at my watch and a sinking feeling crept over me. There was no way now I'd ever make it home in time for the activities we'd planned.
Something was afoot and now my curiosity was piqued. The story of that evening was not over yet, and I needed to stay to get to the end.
Albina's husband and I visited for nearly two more hours, during which time he told me all about his life with Albina and showed me pictures of her as a young woman back in Russia. I watched his daughter string beads as she kept an eye on a children's television program, and at one point she came over to her father to give him a hug. They were okay, and that's exactly what I needed to see. At that point, seeing this was enough.
It turned out to be only the beginning, though.
Visits and conversations in the months ahead revealed many needs.
God revealed Himself in the meeting of those needs.
*The father needed legal help and the funds to prepare a will and guardianship papers in the event he could no longer care for his daughter. A friend of mine from college who happens to be a family attorney took up the case quickly and prepared the documents at a discount. My mother and I had the money between us to pay that bill.
* The little girl needs a mouthful of dental work totaling about $2500. Through a network of strangers on a community online bulletin board where I posted the family's plight and asked for any dental referrals, a dentist has been found who will do all the work for free.
* On that same bulletin board, I posted the need for furniture for the little girl as well as a mattress set so she can have a proper bed. Total strangers have sent me enough money to buy the mattress set.
*Two other families have agreed to donate gently used bedroom furniture. Another woman in my homeschool group has bedding to fit the bed, and yet another lady has offered her husband's help to deliver the furniture to Albina's family.
* Another woman and her business partner are working with their church friends to pray for Albina's family and they are researching options for helping the husband and child move to a better home.
* A man and his father, a Navy veteran, have offered to meet with Albina's husband, who is also a Navy vet, to talk with him about how they can help him register with the Veterans Admin so he can receive his own much needed medical and dental care.
All this out of one prayer.
See what I mean when I say it was always bigger than just me. So many willing and concerned offers of help, so much generosity pouring out of every corner of my community, so many open expressions of Christ-like love and the offer of prayer -- when I think back through the chain of events how could I possibly chalk any of it up to coincidence?
In Matthew 7:7, Jesus tells his followers this:
7“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8“For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9“Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? 10“Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? 11“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! 12“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets."
God was always available to help. He was just waiting for someone to ask the question.
Emmanuel. God with us.
If anyone reading this still doubts the power of God to move in a person's life in ways far beyond what the human mind can imagine, email me. Let's talk.
I tell you, He is as real as anything you can touch, taste, smell or feel. In some ways, even more so.
Emmanuel. God with us.
Thank you, Father.
Albina was my friend. We knew each other from my mid-day trips to Denney's with my children and mother. She waitressed there and was always such a joy to be around. Read the previous 'blog for the details.
Anyway, my sadness pushed me into something that has become much bigger than just me. I know now that it was really always bigger than just me, but in the beginning I felt like a one-woman crusader.
This is a true story about what happens when we give up ourselves. It's also a story about what can happen when we ask God to give us a job without clearly knowing what reward, if any, will be obtained. It is Emmanuel or "God with us" in the most tangible way. It is a solid refutation of the world's tendency to disbelieve in the existence or power of God.
Before I tell you the story, I have to share the lyrics of a song by one of my favorite Christian singers, Chris Sligh. The song is, "Only You Can Save" and it played through my head over and over in the weeks leading up to what I'm about to relate.
I saw a man today, his whole world across his back
A living monument opposed to my success
I tried to look into his eyes as his shuffled past my car
Sweat beading on his skin, his clothes and hair a mess
As the light turned green and I pulled away, he slowly disappeared
Just a memory of another chance I failed to show your love here
I wanna love because You love
I wanna give because You gave
I wanna reach my hand out to the lost
because I know Your hand can save
Only You can save
Only You can save
Sometimes I have to wonder if I really want to know
The struggle and the pain that others feel
Do I want to hear the stories I see echoed in their eyes
Or is this love I say that I'm reflecting even real
As the light turns on inside my head and I slowly disappear
I steel myself cuz what you call for me is to show your love here…
I wanna love because You love
I wanna give because You gave
I wanna reach my hand out to the lost
because I know Your hand can save
Only You can save
Only You can save
(Save) Let me be Your hands
(Only You can save) Let me be your eyes
(Only you can save) Help me understand
(Only you can save)
That I'm Your hands and feet hidden behind this frail human disguise
I wanna love because You love
I wanna give because You gave
I wanna reach my hand out to the lost
because I know Your hand will save.
In the song, Sligh prays for God to use him in some meaningful way so that he can actually demonstrate the love and purpose of Christ rather than just talk about it.
On Christmas Eve 2010, I did the same thing and the avalanche of blessing that has poured from that one short prayer threatens to overwhelm me.
I found out about Albina's death the Tuesday before Christmas. At that point, I couldn't shake the feeling that I needed to do something, something for her or for her family. I didn't know what that "something" would be, but like a pesty fly at a picnic the thought just wouldn't leave me.
That same day, Tuesday, I wrote a letter to her husband expressing my sympathy and regret at only then having learned the news of her death three months before. I went online and found what I hoped was still a good address for him, drove to his house, and after finding him not home left the letter with a neighbor who promised to deliver it for me. I included my phone number and email, in case Albina's husband wanted to talk. My work was done, right?
Friday, the day before Christmas, found me sitting at my kitchen table with my children making last minute crafts to give as gifts. As they finished up, the overwhelming compulsion to pray came over me and, once the kids were gone, I sat there alone and silent, wondering what on earth I should pray. I didn't need anything, so what WAS this about? Why was I being provoked into prayer?
That's when the still small voice of the Old Testament spoke and all I heard was, "Ask to be connected."
Connected? Who was I disconnected from? It was Christmas Eve, I'd sent all my cards to family and friends, my children were happily getting ready for the next day, my husband, mother and in-laws were all up and running. Where was the disconnect?????
Then I realized that the other nagging feeling, the one that made me wonder and worry a little about Albina's family WAS the disconnect. I needed to make contact with her husband! I needed to know for myself that he and his little girl were okay!
This was my prayer: "Dear Father, let me make contact with James so I can know he and his daughter are okay. If I can help them, help me to do this. This is all I ask of you and I pray to see the way clear to make this happen. Amen."
That was it. I didn't know it then, but I had just opened wide a door that has yet to be shut, and the blessings that have flooded through it read like the wish list of a child at Christmas. I believe this is no accident. God sent his son to us on Christmas Eve as the greatest gift mankind would ever have, and it was on Christmas Eve that I prayed to receive the gift of usefulness.
Later that day, on our way home from a friend's open house, I stopped by the grocery store to buy ingredients for a Christmas Day green bean casserole. As I headed back to the house, I was disgusted with myself when I realized I'd bought absolutely everything else for the casserole I needed except the green beans! I dropped off my mother and my girls and told them I'd run up to Walmart to get the beans and that I'd be back soon. We were scheduled to go with friends that night to a Christmas Eve service at their church, so I needed to get back to get ready.
As I headed out of my neighborhood, a voice that was nearly audible in the car said to me, "Turn the car around." I tried to brush it off, not really thinking it could be anything but a niggling, lingering worry about a situation I'd already addressed. I needed to get those green beans!
"Turn the car around!" It came again, and this time I found myself turning the corner and driving away from the store and towards Albina's house. This is nuts, I thought. I've got this to do and that to do and on and on and on -- and all the while my car was headed in a different direction.
As I neared Albina's house, I saw there was a car in the driveway. Her husband must be home, I thought, and what in the world am I going to say? Did he get my letter? Did I offend him? Is he going to blow me off the minute I introduce myself? All these questions and more ran through my head as I shut off the engine, got out, and headed up to the front door.
And then what happened? Her husband answered the door, and when I told him who I was he said, "I was just working on an email to send to you. I got your letter and I just now had time to reply."
We stood on his front porch and talked, and talked, and talked. The sun went down, it began to drizzle, and I began to wonder how I was going to explain all this to my family. Surely by now they were missing me, and thinking the line at Walmart couldn't possibly be that long.
At one point in the conversation, I asked Albina's husband if there was anything I could do for him and he said that although he hated to ask for help what he really needed was some dog food for his two dogs. I asked him what sort of food he had for himself and his little girl and he said quietly, "Not much." Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was now nearly 7 p.m. and I'd been gone a good two hours. I needed to get home. Tonight was Christmas Eve and there were toys to assemble, foods to prepare, and our friends would be meeting us at their church in just a couple of hours.
I offered to run up to a nearby grocery store to get some food and the husband accepted. On the way to the store, I called my husband and told him where I was and what was happening. "Call Rene and Dennis and let them know we won't make it," I said. "There's no way I can get home in time now."
I shopped for groceries like the mother of four children that I am -- peanut butter, wheat bread, bag of apples, bananas, milk, orange juice. I worried that the little girl might not have enough nutritious food to stay healthy and, knowing the family had no health insurance, it seemed paramount to make sure the food I bought was quality stuff.
As I checked out, I glanced at my watch. It was still early enough that if I got the groceries delivered in time I could still make it home to get ready to meet our friends for church and a gift exchange afterwards. I'd call my husband from the car and he could let our friends know we'd be there after all. What could be better? The evening in a nice, tidy package, right? A little good deed and then on to the fun, right? Right?
Then I heard thunder, and I saw the rain, lots and lots of torrential rain. How in the world was I going to load and unload all these groceries without getting absolutely soaked, I asked myself.
As I stood outside the store watching the downpour, it became clear that I was expected to finish the job God had given me. Running to my car, I began loading in the bags as fast as I could while all the while the cold rain seeped through my shawl and into my clothes down to the skin. "You have a chance to help someone else who's hurting far more than you're suffering a temporary soaking," the voice said to me. "Get over it. Your clothes will wash and you will dry out."
I got back to Albina's house and her little girl helped me bring the bags into the house. It was my first real look at the child and she was beautiful. We got everything put away and her dad asked if I'd like to sit for a bit and talk. It was Christmas Eve after all, and it was obvious he was struggling. I glanced at my watch and a sinking feeling crept over me. There was no way now I'd ever make it home in time for the activities we'd planned.
Something was afoot and now my curiosity was piqued. The story of that evening was not over yet, and I needed to stay to get to the end.
Albina's husband and I visited for nearly two more hours, during which time he told me all about his life with Albina and showed me pictures of her as a young woman back in Russia. I watched his daughter string beads as she kept an eye on a children's television program, and at one point she came over to her father to give him a hug. They were okay, and that's exactly what I needed to see. At that point, seeing this was enough.
It turned out to be only the beginning, though.
Visits and conversations in the months ahead revealed many needs.
God revealed Himself in the meeting of those needs.
*The father needed legal help and the funds to prepare a will and guardianship papers in the event he could no longer care for his daughter. A friend of mine from college who happens to be a family attorney took up the case quickly and prepared the documents at a discount. My mother and I had the money between us to pay that bill.
* The little girl needs a mouthful of dental work totaling about $2500. Through a network of strangers on a community online bulletin board where I posted the family's plight and asked for any dental referrals, a dentist has been found who will do all the work for free.
* On that same bulletin board, I posted the need for furniture for the little girl as well as a mattress set so she can have a proper bed. Total strangers have sent me enough money to buy the mattress set.
*Two other families have agreed to donate gently used bedroom furniture. Another woman in my homeschool group has bedding to fit the bed, and yet another lady has offered her husband's help to deliver the furniture to Albina's family.
* Another woman and her business partner are working with their church friends to pray for Albina's family and they are researching options for helping the husband and child move to a better home.
* A man and his father, a Navy veteran, have offered to meet with Albina's husband, who is also a Navy vet, to talk with him about how they can help him register with the Veterans Admin so he can receive his own much needed medical and dental care.
All this out of one prayer.
See what I mean when I say it was always bigger than just me. So many willing and concerned offers of help, so much generosity pouring out of every corner of my community, so many open expressions of Christ-like love and the offer of prayer -- when I think back through the chain of events how could I possibly chalk any of it up to coincidence?
In Matthew 7:7, Jesus tells his followers this:
7“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. 8“For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened. 9“Or what man is there among you who, when his son asks for a loaf, will give him a stone? 10“Or if he asks for a fish, he will not give him a snake, will he? 11“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him! 12“In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets."
God was always available to help. He was just waiting for someone to ask the question.
Emmanuel. God with us.
If anyone reading this still doubts the power of God to move in a person's life in ways far beyond what the human mind can imagine, email me. Let's talk.
I tell you, He is as real as anything you can touch, taste, smell or feel. In some ways, even more so.
Emmanuel. God with us.
Thank you, Father.
March 7, 2011
Wasn't public school supposed to save them?
Some critics of homeschooling like to argue that parents who teach their own children should somehow be regulated, in part to make sure they are not using homeschooling as an excuse to abuse their children away from the public eye.
That argument would be solid if it wasn't so absurd. Read on, and you'll see what I mean.
A Florida couple is in the news following allegations of child abuse of twin 10-year-olds adopted in 2009. The children first lived with the Jorge and Carmen Barahona as foster children. Nubia Barahona was found dead in her father's truck on Valentine's Day. Her brother Victor was in the front seat still alive but severely burned over much of his body by a caustic substance.
According to police reports, Nubia and Victor were routinely tied up and kept in a bathroom. Both were beaten from time to time, and food was withheld.
Both children attended public school where teachers at various times reported the girl was hoarding food or had admitted her mother beat her or that both children appeared unkempt.
Those reports fell on deaf ears. They could not be substantiated enough to warrant removing the kids from their home.
That argument would be solid if it wasn't so absurd. Read on, and you'll see what I mean.
A Florida couple is in the news following allegations of child abuse of twin 10-year-olds adopted in 2009. The children first lived with the Jorge and Carmen Barahona as foster children. Nubia Barahona was found dead in her father's truck on Valentine's Day. Her brother Victor was in the front seat still alive but severely burned over much of his body by a caustic substance.
According to police reports, Nubia and Victor were routinely tied up and kept in a bathroom. Both were beaten from time to time, and food was withheld.
Both children attended public school where teachers at various times reported the girl was hoarding food or had admitted her mother beat her or that both children appeared unkempt.
Those reports fell on deaf ears. They could not be substantiated enough to warrant removing the kids from their home.
According to the 2/28/11 edition of the Miami-Herald, Christine Lopez-Acevedo, a former attorney for the Guardian ad-litem Program, recited mostly by memory from official child welfare records: Nubia telling a teacher she was going to be beaten with footwear; Nubia locking herself in a bathroom and crying hysterically at the thought of her mother being called to the school; Nubia promising to behave better if a principal promised never again to call her mother.
The records were readily available in 2009 when a Miami judge approved the adoption of Nubia and her twin brother Victor by foster parents Jorge and Carmen Barahona.
The story continues further down:At the second meeting of a panel charged with determining how numerous efforts to save Nubia fell so tragically short, speakers said the girl demonstrated a distinct fear of her then-foster mother as far back as kindergarten.
At a 2007 court hearing recounted by Lopez-Acevedo, Nubia’s Royal Palm Elementary kindergarten teacher described the day Nubia wet her pants at school. Thinking it no big deal, the teacher told Nubia she would call Carmen Barahona to have her bring a change of clothes.
“Mama is going to hit me with a chancleta [a type of sandal] on the bottom of my feet,’’ the teacher testified. Nubia then locked herself in a bathroom and cried hysterically, said Lopez-Acevedo, who wept herself when relating the episode.
The principal at another school, Blue Lakes Elementary, also testified that Nubia was fearful of Carmen – so fearful that she once promised she would never fall asleep in class again if the school would refrain from calling home to complain about her. The principal said a colleague from the twins’ previous school suggested “something was not right’’ with the twins, and that school workers should keep an eye on them, Lopez-Acevedo said.
They did. All told, three times between 2006 and 2010, Blue Lakes Elementary employees called the state’s child-abuse hotline with concerns that Nubia had been brought to school dirty, foul-smelling and unkempt. And that Nubia hoarded food and complained constantly that she was hungry.
Yet none of this information was provided to Vanessa Archer, the psychologist charged with evaluating the Barahonas’ fitness to adopt the twins, who had been in their care as foster children. The result: what foster care administrators have called a “glowing’’ evaluation of the couple, which smoothed the way for the Barahonas to adopt.
“There was alarming information from the school,’’ said Roberto Martinez, a former U.S. attorney for Southern Florida who is part of the three-member panel determining what went wrong.
SCHOOL OFFICIALS DID THEIR JOB BUT THEIR CONCERNS NEVER MADE IT TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES.
Now do you see why the abuse argument of the anti-homeschooling crowd is at best laughable and at worst a full and complete dismissal of logic?
People who want to abuse children are going to do it, no matter how tightly or loosely they are regulated. The Barahonas were regularly visited by child welfare workers, they were reported numerous times by school officials, and they STILL got to adopt Nubia and Victor. They STILL managed to carry out systemic and horrific abuse.
Going to public school did not save Nubia or Victor Barahona.
The next time some windbag pushes for regulation of homeschoolers on the grounds that parents who teach their own children are more likely to be secretly abusive, the story of Nubia and Victor Barahona ought to be placed front and center as refutation.
This is the second 'blog post I've written on this subject in the past year or so. The other story involved Chandler Grafner of Colorado who also attended public school and who was also reported by his teachers after they witnessed suspicious behaviors and remarks consistent with a child who was being abused. As in the Barahona case, help came too late and Chandler Grafner died from starvation. He was just seven years old.
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